I want to stop apologizing

My husband and I got into a fight the other night because he noticed that any time he starts a conversation with me, I pull away and basically say “brb, I’ve got to take care of this little thing first.” I apologized. He said it would never change, and he didn’t want to talk to me for the rest of the night.

I know why I do this. 1.) I need time to shift my attention from one thing to another, and 2.) I’m afraid that if I don’t do the next thing I was planning on doing, I’ll forget to do it entirely.

If I had a physical disability and had to adjust because of it, he wouldn’t say “I don’t want to talk to you for the rest of the night.” Right? So I’m 45 years old and have spent the last 45 years apologizing for doing my best, because my best actually pisses people off.

Anyway - I promised my husband I’d work on it, and it’s not going well for me. I’ve been mid anxiety attack for two days now. I feel helpless for the first time in a long time.