Having trouble healing from the betrayal to be able to be understanding

Hi all,

I found out two days ago my partner was/is having conversations with anonymous men/women through sessions about his specific kinks. The only reason I found out he was doing this was because he was texting the last three times we were being intimate.

Now I have learned he has been doing this for months, that he has developed a more emotional connection with two of them, and he was sharing my nudes without my knowledge/consent.

I am having a hard time with a couple of things:

1. The lying. I wish he had told me. We have toyed with the idea of a threesome and could have tried to find a way to incorporate these conversations (obviously with consent from the person). 2. The absolute betrayal of sharing my nudes without consent. While none of them have my face, he still shared my body without my consent/knowledge. He said he only shared my upper half, but I do NOT believe that for one minute. 3. Developing a deeper connection with two of the women. I was told these conversations are more about fulfilling a fantasy and then the conversation naturally ends. However, he has been speaking with these women for MONTHS and it about daily life and what not. 4. Texting two women when we are actively being intimate. Two days ago, he texted one woman twice while I was giving him a handjob (same day two separate incidents - this is what caused me to find out). He said that conversation wasn't even related to what we were doing - he was just talking to her. A couple of days before that he asked if I wanted head (for the first time in **months**) and then initiated other touching. He stopped in the middle of what he was doing to text one woman, because she, "was telling him what to do". Like... he couldn't even touch me in a way to just pleasure me without some other woman telling him to?

With all that being said, I am having a hard time reconciling how... small and insecure all of this has made me feel while also respecting his kinks. I understand I was not fulfilling what he needed kink-wise, but he didn't even speak to me about half of it.

I have a couple questions

1. Do you have any advice on how I can move forward in the relationship with how I am currently feeling? 2. How do I respect this kink without bringing my negative feelings into it? He has said he will delete it if I want, but I don't want to impose that ban due to my feelings right now. How can I feel comfortable with him doing this? 3. I would like us to grow in the ability to explore his kinks without him feeling scared that I am unwilling/close minded. How can I lay a foundation for him to feel comfortable? I have not shamed anything he has told me so far and have participated in what he has asked. I am not a good dom and don't really know what to do with chastity (him locked up), so I don't know if that would be a good place to start?

Sorry for the wall of text. Thanks for your help in advance.