Wife let me for her Dom , need advice (Scared she is in Sub-Frenzy)

Hello all, first time poster desperate for insight/advice

4 months ago my wife (27) had a manic episode and during that time got kinky with a guy online, she realized she'd 'found herself'. She came here to talk about it and people warned her that she was already having an emotional affair. She briefly asked me if I'm be interested in BDSM. I was hesitant, but to be honest, I just needed time to learn about it. I did some reading and told her I'd be fine with her getting a female Dom, but not a male one. I warned her that I'd read issues about Dom's been introduced into marriages. She said it would 'just be sex', I also told her if she developed any feeling's to end it immediately which she agreed too. I suggested we do some workshops as she was new to this, but she said she wanted to experience ' everything' and didn't think I could be her Dom (she laughed at me for even suggesting it).

Over the following months, she locked all her browsers, changed all her passwords and basically did every behavior a cheater would do. She became obsessed with her phone, would take 2 hour baths, I'd constantly catch her closing her phone and tilting the screen away from me. Whilst cleaning some drawers I found her diary hidden in a bizarre place, due to all her odd behavior I opened it and it detailed the entire relationship with her undying love for him.

She'd put a call out her looking for a someone on this forum and immediately became obsessed with a Dom (43m) who messaged her. Within 2 days she was infactuated with him and believed he was the love of her life. They sent videos to each other and within a week she'd booked tickets to fly and see him. She told me she was visiting family, but afterwards I'd found out it was a cover to go and see him. On the first meeting they met at a hotel and he 'collared her'. They then spent the weekend at his house playing. She wrote that she would happily sacrifice her family, friends, her world, for him. She started spending all the money in our joint bank account on new sexy clothes and sex toys (I never saw they until recently). She spent all the money I'd saved up for a holiday on new cloths as well. The real sad part is this Dom is from my home town and lives next to my dad, which makes this whole situation all the more sour for me!)

When she returned from the 'family-trip' she told me our marriage was probably over because I wasn't giving her enough attention, she said I had to take responsibility for it coming to this and that it was mostly my fault. I was floored and spiraled into a complete mental breakdown (at this point all I knew was that she'd met someone online, but she told me she was no longer talking with him). My wife didn't care in the slightest about my breakdown and said she had no regrets about reaching out to this guy. We went to couples counselling and she told me she was leaving me in the opening sentence. She said she needed space and wanted another trip home. At this point, all I knew was she'd met a Dom online, I didn't know they'd met (until last week).

Before her trip last week, she got her hair done, nails, new eyelashes, I got suspicious and asked if she was really going to see family, she was angry I'd even suggest she'd cheat on me, but when I confronted her about the previous trip which I'd read about in her diary she finally came clean and admitted she was flying to see him again to spend 2 weeks playing with him for his birthday, she'd booked the trip a week after meeting him. He's told her he has stopped seeing his other subs and has even talked to my wife about marrying her! (I'm not sure I believe he will stop having other subs though?) Everyone who she confided in is super worried about her and the speed at which she is moving with this guy, although not many of them know it's a Master-Sub relationship.

She flat out lied to most of our friends when she was asking for advice about our relationship and when asked by friends if she'd met a guy she said no. I asked her to give his address to people and she said she had already done that because everyone she knew who knew she'd met someone was worried for her well being and the speed at which she was moving with this guy. I've asked her to come home and slow down (for my sake as I come to terms with everything) but she says 'she can't'. She says she plans to fly and see him and vice-versa every few weeks. When I asked what she'd do if it didn't work out with him, she said she'd deserve the pain as she is ' Euphoric' right now and knows the cost of that is me been broken. She said she would probably kill herself if it didn't work out (I'm hoping she wasn't serious about that statement)

Right now I'm a total wreck, but at the same time, I'm worried that she is in Sub-Frenzy and not thinking straight? I'm worried that her master is taking advantage of the situation and not being responsible, the fact that he's letting her throw our marriage away and loose all her friends scares me. From what I've read collaring her on their very first meeting should be a red flag? In general everything I've read shows red flags. She's already extended her trip with him for an extra week. Right now she is meant to be launching a new product at work and is actually staying with her Dom instead. I know she will be unable to financially sustain herself when she moves out the house when she comes home, I have no idea how she plans to have monthly trips to see him on top of that, I'm pretty sure she is going to spiral into a major debt to sustain this relationship. Both my therapists and friends believe she is still in a manic episode, she is currently not on any medication for it either.

How long does Sub-Frenzy last? I know my marriage is in tatters, but I love my wife deeply and I'm really concerned that once the Frenzy wears off it'll hit her that she's thrown away our marriage and most of her friends along with it. I hope it works out for her and he is 'the love of her life', but all my instincts tell me this is a flaming train-wreck that will end in a month or so with my wife having the greatest depression of her life when she realizes what shes done!

Any advice from people who have experienced similar would be appreciated! She's 27F sub, he's a 43/44M dom.

Edit: Spelling