How do y'all deal with this, with missing them so much?

I miss him so much it's like there's a hole in my soul. I just wanted to make a fun art of him and now I'm crying again. I've cried so many times since realizing I'm a kin and even though I'm 21/22 I feel like an idiotic child sitting here sobbing holding a plush because I can still remember the feeling of his hands/gloves on my shoulders but I can't \*feel\* them anymore and it HURTS.

How do y'all function? How am I supposed to just go on everyday as if this isn't eating me alive?