Getting in shape has come with upsides and a bad downside.

OK...I've lost 50 pounds since Easter (Age 61). Walking everyday in the park has gotten me tan and toned. All positives.

BUT...my testosterone levels have increased and so has cortisol. With me it's about 10% testosterone and 90% cortisol.

The cortisol is making me an impatient and angry jerk like I was when I was younger. I'm ready to fly off the handle at the slightest thing. I'm also giving off the Black Aura again. The Black Aura is something that makes people uneasy and want to avoid me.

I had to work nights all alone for 30 years because of this. I only recently able to be among people again. But I was fat and docile and people were able to tolerate me. Now I can see people's reactions are different. They haven't changed, I have and it worries me.

There was a really nice sweet spot about a month ago. I was getting in shape and was still Mr. Nice Guy. Life was good and now the winds have changed.

EDIT: OK, I pulled the cortisol vs. Testosterone numbers out of my ass. I know cortisol makes you grumpy and that sure feels like what's going on.

I've been on Paroxetine for depression for almost 30 years.

I had no idea a Black Aura was an established thing. I just made that up to describe the "FUCK OFF!" vibe I seem to emit. It's been a very life-limiting thing. I'm 61 and have never had a relationship and only a couple of dates. Body count of zero. LAME!

I'm just worried that I'm going snap at someone and lose all the momentum I've made recently.