Innergalactic Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn! Iss onny de beginnin....

Frens! Issa moast speshul day! I has jess opin de furrst ob de Innergalactic Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn! Deez gais arr Petroniums an dey has dere own planit - Petroniya ob cors.

Dey wanna lern tew retrayn dere ones wiff thumbs dat brang dem fuds an worshit dem an awl lak dat! Dey jess cawl dem dere mums. Butt! dey sey mums arr purrty dum tew an reqwire full retrayn wen dey arr doptit an purrty reglurr retrayn affta dat - jess lak hoomons.

An gess wat? I dint eben has ta yoos enny ob de holy water! I jess drop in an innerdooce mineownseff an dey sed Hai! an I sed Hai! An dey aks wat I com tew dere planit fur, n I tole dem, n dey sed, "shurr shurr! less hab a ISSoR here!"

Ooo dis gon bee sew nyze! We pikkin owt a gud playss fur de campuss an ebryfang!

Dey sed a hoomon bisit dem one tym. Himb wuz dum butt! nowt as dum as som ob dem hoomons. (Dey ben bisitin Eerff furra lonk tym! Dey awso sey derr som frens on Venus dat mowt lak a skool tew. De hoomon shap Venusians purrty dum awso. An de frens? Dey cawl Feelines! Ahmayzeeng.) Dat hoomon wat bisit Petroniya bafor? his nam wuz Heinlein. I aks mine momma an she sey she kno dis hoomon! Smol unibers, huh?

In cayss yew dint kno ennyfang bowt wat I yam meowin on bowt, I tawked bowt dis wiff Aunti Ruby an Luna an Niko affta Niko tole us bowt de Moobie Mashups ideya! Diss wuz affta Niko sed "put awey de holy water" ... an ai had brot de hole spayss shuttul full! Gah!

Ennywey, deez Petroniums wanna bee in de Innergalactic Criminal Business Gang Club, tew! Wadda yew gais fink? Dey furry fonda crimez an Go Crimez! Dere fabrit crimez is walk thru walls! Imma get som dem tew com dew a gess lectyoor at SSoR bowt dat! I shurrly wanna lern wawk thru walls!

Oh! One oddur fang! Yew don eben hasta ware yer tinfoil energy domes rownd de Petroniums! Dey sed ob cors dey kin reed mines butt! iss furry rood tew dew dat wiffowt purrmisshun an dey onny duz mine comtrol on lesser beens lak hoomons....