Actual Elder Dragon Kulve Taroth

You're walking in the cave. No one joined your lobby, And you forgot to eat.

Out of the corner of your eye you spot her,

Kulve Taroth.

~~~~~~

She's knocked down, About 90 feet back. She gets back on all fours and breaks into a sprint. She's getting away.

Kulve Taroth.

~~~~~~

You're looking for your cat, But you're all turned around. She's almost upon you now  And you can see there's lava on the ground! My god, there's lava everywhere!

~~~~~~

Running for your life

(From Kulve Taroth.)

You mount her with a knife.

(It's Kulve Taroth.)

Lurking in El Dorado

Giant-ass goat lizard Kulve Taroth.

Living in the cave,

(Kulve Taroth.)

Grinding for loot,

(Kulve Taroth.)

Smashing all the hunters

Actual Elder Dragon Kulve Taroth.

~~~~~~

Now it's getting hot and you seem to have broken off most of her armor, But you're hopelessly low on health yourself. Stranded with a dragon, You roll desperately through the burning attacks. A-ha! In the distance, A small stalactite hanging from the ceiling! Hope! You aim your slinger toward it,

But your health! Ah! You've been ambushed by gajalakas!

~~~~~~

Hitting you with bombs,

(Dammit, dammit.)

Interrupt your carving,

(Dammit, dammit.)

Wasting a farcaster,

Run all the way back, Kulve Taroth.

Sharpening your axe,

(Kulve Taroth.)

But she doesn't hear you enter,

(Kulve Taroth.)

You're sneaking up behind her.

Mega Barrel Bombing Kulve Taroth.

Fighting for your loot with Kulve Taroth,

Giving scrubs the boot from Kulve Taroth,

Smash off all her armor.

Safe at last from Kulve Taroth.

~~~~~~

You limp into the base camp, Blood oozing from your probably concussed head. But you have won. You have beaten Kulve Taroth.

~~~~~~

Wait! She isn't done! Taroth Surprise!

There's a lance in your hand, and death in her eyes.

But you can do Jiu Jitsu

Lance charge at naked-ass Kulve Taroth

Legendary fight with Kulve Taroth

Normal Tuesday night for Kulve Taroth