Please tell me there’s a life outside of compression leggings.

I am only ever able to have any energy to function when I wear high-waisted compression leggings. Energy-wise, I finally feel like a normal person when I’m in them (and on my 0.1 mg of fludrocortisone, although I’m still not entirely convinced the medication is doing anything).

Here’s the thing, though. I hate them. I \*hate\* them. I \*\*\*HATE\*\*\* them. I’ve hated tights since the days I was but a wee child and my mother forced those cursed garments on me every formal-to-semi-formal occasion she could. Screw her and screw her tights, I swore I’d never, ever wear them again. But here I am….

I’ve tried wearing the leggings both without my jeans (I look and feel like a slob and they feel like tights) and with them (they still feel like tights). The ones I have offer great compression but they have this weave that itches and is supposed to be “massaging”, but all they do (outside of their proper compression) is imprint this odd wavy pattern into my legs. “Massaging” they are not. I’ve tried wearing Spanx-style underwear and they help but not to the extent that the leggings do.

Perhaps I got the wrong brand, but I know every pair of compression leggings is going to be knit specifically for compression, and they’re probably all going to feel like goddamned TIGHTS and I hate the thought of it. Even if they don’t have the BS “massaging” texture, they’re still going to be tight leggings, and tight leggings are glorified tights.

I’ve been in a weird spot ever since I started wearing these compression garments, since I finally feel energized and as close to normal as possible, but I also feel awful because I hate how they feel on my body so much. And when I think about wearing these horrible, horrible things for the rest of my life, I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to do. I never got used to wearing them as a child and I’m not used to them now, even after weeks of wearing them. So today I’m not, and yep, I’m stuck in bed feeling groggy. What even \*is\* life if you spend it in such great discomfort just to be able to function?

But is this my only solution? I’m tired of being in such a bad mood due to these things. I don’t want to spend my life in them. At all. There has to be something else that works just as well…. Right?