50F And Brand New To This Diagnosis...any advice/tips/resources would be appreciated!
**A bit of background:**
I (50F) have been married to my husband for 26 years. We have three young adult children, all of whom are currently living at home and in college (they are so not burdens...they are welcome to stay as long as they want). I have not worked full time outside the home for 24 years. I am on our local school board, which does take up a lot of time. Additionally, I have always worked/volunteered part time in the community (with our kids' schools/programs and with our local faith community) and have done in home daycare on and off over the years.
I began seeing a new therapist a couple years ago. I've had a panic disorder with agoraphobia since I was 21 years old and generalized anxiety my entire life. I went to see him when some old trauma bubbled to the surface and I had to deal with it. He has been amazing.
Recently, he has begun asking if I had ever been tested for ADHD. He explained how sometimes ADHD presents differently in women. He's been working under the assumption that I do have it for the last year or so. After formally testing me last week, he looked at the initial screener and just kind of chuckled. He said, without even scoring it, that - yes - I definitely have ADHD...and it's not mild or moderate lol.
I've always been "smart", but have also always struggled with severe disorganization and procrastination. I also have some significant chronic health conditions. I never had the career that I so desperately wanted...nor have I brought in the extra income that would have made such a difference in our family's life.
I've been a good mom...I AM a good mom. My kids are wonderful human beings. They love me and I love them. But I've always felt like I've let them down.
#THIS OFFICIAL ADHD DIAGNOSIS HAS ROCKED MY WORLD
Maybe I'm **NOT** just a worthless POS. Maybe all my failings and lack of career have actually **NOT** been *completely* my fault. Maybe all the antidepressants and tranquilizers I've been on since I was 21 years old have not worked because they're **NOT** what my brain needs. Maybe the fact that I freeze up when looking at my messy, cluttered house is **NOT** because I'm a lazy, terrible housekeeper.
I'm sobbing as I write this. Yes, I'm 50, but my family has some serious longevity and no history of dementia. So, maybe it's NOT too late for me to get my master's degree and start a career - part-time is fine! I have HOPE for the first time in a LONG time. I don't feel like a complete and utter loser.
And - this is so huge - my husband has been reading up on how to support a spouse (specifically a woman) with ADHD.
**Suggestions, advice, recommendations, anything and everything is appreciated!!!! Thank you so very much!**