Spilling Red Wine on Wedding Guest Rhetoric

There's a particular phenomenon that gets accepted as catty folksiness, where some women will advocate for or commit actual violence against other women at weddings for wearing clothes they dislike. The old "her clothes are offensive to me in some way, I'll teach her and all other women who may transgress against my eyeballs by pouring red wine on her" assault.

I'm in such a conversation now on another sub. How has it become so acceptable to commit or fantasize about committing violence because you don't like the garments another woman is wearing?

How is this kind of policing different or better than what people who are considered extremists do to keep women "in their place" using violence, control, and shame?

It's concerning that this rhetoric is so normalized, and I've never seen this particular flavor aimed at someone who isn't female presenting