ULPT: how to deploy the use of liquid ass to maximally discourage a room with sex
Backstory: When I first moved in, I thought sharing a space would be manageable. My roommate, Jake, seemed decent enough—until his girlfriend started hanging around more. It began innocently, her crashing on weekends, which I didn’t mind. But soon, weekends turned into weeknights, and before I knew it, she had practically moved in without so much as a conversation.
At first, it was small things—her stuff cluttering the bathroom, taking up the kitchen—but then the real nightmare began: their nightly rendezvous.Every night at midnight, like clockwork, the noise would start—giggling, moaning, the bed frame pounding against the wall. My bedroom was next to theirs, so the thin walls offer no protection from the relentless sound. At first, I tried earplugs. Didn’t work. Then I tried reasoning with them, asking if they could at least keep it down or take it elsewhere. Jake just laughed it off like I was overreacting, like it was some joke that I was losing sleep because of them.
After a few more nights of this torture, I confronted him again, but this time, he just scoffed and said, “Bro, it’s college. You gotta deal with it.”
The thing is, I was dealing with it—by slowly losing my sanity. The exhaustion crept into my bones, my schoolwork started slipping, and I couldn’t even think straight. Every night, i come to dread this point of the day.Reasoning has failed, and they clearly couldn’t care less.
I’m done trying to approach in a cooperative manner to him. He clearly couldn’t care less about my well-being and now I think it’s time to take a more disruptive approach with the use of noxious agent like liquid ass. Deal with that fucker.
How can I apply this in a discreet way that doesn’t create suspicion that it’s the result of foul play rather creates a genuine impression that one of the other did it. Intuitively I feel that a impression that one of the other did it will provide the most permanent effects and I can finally take peace in the night.