I wish I didn't waste two years on you

I don't have words to express my regret. I ruined another night out. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry I can't keep you to myself. I'm sorry I convinced you that this was a good idea. I will never not love you. I will never not hold you in my heart. You're my everything. It's unfortunate because I have a tendency to ruin everything. I'm sorry, and I wish you a good happy life. You will always be my best friend and the one that got away.

That being said i wish you hadn't hit me. I wish I never felt the need to hit you back. I wish losing you didn't feel like this. I wish I could turn my emotions off and forget you ever happened, but I can't. Maybe YHWH was getting me out of a bad situation. I don't know. I know i miss you and I want to go home, but we no longer feel safe with eachother.

I wish I actually felt like it was a waste and that I could hate you. I just can't. You were one of the best experiences I've ever had. Loving you felt like a dream. Our emotions caused an avalanche that buried us in the end.