Introducing a new Game Mode: Elf Spotting!

I'd like to take a moment to talk about Elves. We've all seen them, infesting our games like the animals they are, destroying and consuming without care or pity. I used to react in anger and fear upon seeing them join and waste team slot that could be filled by someone else, until I discovered the majesty of Elf Spotting. The truth is, Elves are merely animals, and just as it's madness to ask a Bear to stop shitting in the woods, or a rat to stop worshiping chaos, so too is it futile to expect Elves to be contributing members of your team. Thus, I've invented a new game, to help everyone appreciate the majesty of the Elves; and possibly learn something about these strange creatures.

The game is very simple. Every behavior common to Elves that previously led to frustration and pain has been recorded below along with an associated point value. During the game, when the Elf gives in to its instincts, simply keep a tally of the points for later. In addition, a number of special circumstances have been included, to help our viewers distinguish a run of the mill Elf from a truly exceptional specimen. But enough talk, on to the game.

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First step in Elf Spotting is to determine your comrade's Elf Spotting multiplier. These multipliers can easily be calculated at the start of the match, before even loading into the mission. Once calculated, save this for later, because at the end of the match, you multiply all the points achieved by this number to get their final score.

**Base Multiplier**:

Waystalker - x1.5 Multiplier

Shade - x1 Multiplier

Handmaiden - x0.75 Multiplier (Because Maiden has abilities that actually contribute to the team; if you can convince the notoriously skittish elf to stand near enough to you to gain those benefits.)

Edgy Name - +x0.5 Modifier

Anime Avatar - +x0.5 Modifier

Terrible Mic that sounds like it came from a 1980s drive thru - +x0.25

Squeaky Voice that makes you pray puberty hits them soon - +x0.25

Assorted Background Noises every time they talk - +x0.10

Actually Being Friendly - -x1

* Remember, each of these multipliers are additive! So, a Shade named *xX_BlUdSkuLZ_Xx*, with a cropped Hentai avatar, who sounds like he's 11 years old and in the background you can clearly hear his alcoholic father screaming at the dog, would have a final Elf Spotting modifier of (x1 + x0.50 + x0.50 + x0.25 + x0.10 =) x2.35. Meaning you multiply all the points gathered by 2.35 at the end to determine their final Elf Spotting Score!

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Now for the meat of Elf Spotting, in-game actions. Each time your Elf does one of the following things, mark down the associated number of points. If the Elf does multiple things at the same time, multiply all actions together to determine the final score!

**Actions**:

Running off Alone - 2 Points. +1 Point if there's been a disabling special tagged or called out recently.

Wasting Healing - 3 Points

Wasting other Consumables - 1 Point

Grabbing a Grim despite being told not to - 5 Points

Healing themselves despite another player being about to Die - 2 points. +2 Points if that player is carrying a Grim.

Blaming the team for their mistakes - 5 Points

Friendly Fire - 1 Point per instance. +3 Points if it's an ultimate or a Bomb.

Failing to Block Revive - 2 Points

Ignoring all attempts at communication - 1 Point

Being Needlessly Salty - 3 Points

Triggering a Storm Vermin Patrol you could have avoided. - 4 Points. +2 Points if the team is struggling with the mission already.

Doing any of the above During a Horde - +2 Points

Doing Any of the Above During a Chaos Warrior or Patrol Fight - +3 Points

Doing Any of the Above During a Boss Fight - +5 Points

* As an example, if our subject *xX_BlUdSkuLZ_Xx* were to run away from his team, and then waste a Potion of healing that would earn him a final Elf Spotting score of (3x2) 6 points! However If he chose to wait until a Horde had spawned before doing so, his score would instead be (3x2 + 2) 8 Points. As an additional bit of fun, if one of your "teammates" is about to achieve a new high-score, don't hesitate to tell them. It makes Elves proud to know their hard work is being noticed and properly appreciated.

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And that's it! Hopefully this guide has helped you find a way to properly enjoy the numerous Elves you are likely to encounter during your Vermintide 2 journey. If you have any additional suggestions, or would like to share a story about a particularly high scoring Elf you've encountered, please do so in the comments below.

EDIT: I'd like to thank all the Elves for joining us in the comments below. Being needlessly salty earns them all 3 Elf Spotting points!