Can readers of the Enemies to Lovers trope explain the appeal to me?

I've reada few threads here on the topic that help it make sense but I have more questions, regarding popular modern fiction in particular.

Generally, do readers really enjoy character interactions with a character getting the hots for someone wanting/trying to kill them?

The particular example that's hitting me right now is in Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros, and I really don't want to yuck anyone's yum so please don't take this as criticism. If you enjoy this sort of thing, please, happy reading!

But I'm just having such a hard time with a character who's supposed to be intelligent losing her wits for someone who yells at her, wants her dead, and in no way makes her feel safe, and his only good quality is that he makes her horny. What's the appeal?

I'm gonna be honest, as someone with a personal background with violence and abuse, while I no longer find it triggering it is concerning and I certainly can't get into it. It's just toxic, and reads more like fanfiction.

Furthermore, is this what modern Enemies to Lovers really is, commonly, or are there better, less toxic examples in what's being recently published?

(Speaking of FW and fanfiction, if you like the book, you like it, and I don't totally hate it myself. But I've personally read fanfictions with better ETL, better slow burns and better, less trope-y writing in general.)

Would love to understand why this is so popular.