CMV: I consider myself both gay and bisexual and use these terms interchangeably to refer to myself.

Ever since I came out of the closet a few years ago, I have interchangeably referred to myself as "gay" or "bi." Often I hear objections to this based on the idea of bi Erasure, diluting the term "gay," or a number of other reasons.

Factually, I am bisexual. On two occasions I have found myself attracted to women. I dated the person in question in both cases.

On the other hand, I'm mostly attracted to men. I don't watch straight porn, I don't go to straight bars, and my sense of identity is built up around the experience of a gay man as I understand it. I generally think of myself first as gay, but technically bisexual by definition. I think this sense of identity is more important than what a dictionary has to say about what I am.

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