How can I (25M) communicate to my girlfriend (24F) that I need more quality time together without affecting her friendships?

Title: I (25M) am struggling to get quality one-on-one time with my girlfriend (24F) of 8 months. How can we find a better balance?

My girlfriend (24F) and I (25M) have been together for 8 months. We’re each other’s first relationship. Lately, I’ve been struggling with the amount of quality time we spend together as a couple.

Whenever I ask her out for lunch or dinner, she often tells me she’s “busy,” “tired,” or “not in the mood.” However, when she initiates plans with me, her friends are usually involved. She believes in spending time equally between her friends and me, and I respect that. I’ve tried bringing this up before, but she responded, “Yeah, but we did spend time together, didn’t we? With XXX (her friend).”

I think we have different definitions of quality time. For her, hanging out together with friends seems to count as spending time as a couple. For me, I value having some one-on-one time where we can focus on each other. Another thing I’ve been struggling with is how we express affection and support. During her exam period, I would order food delivery for her, visit her place to bring her meals, give her massages, and support her whenever she felt stressed. I genuinely enjoyed doing these things because making her happy makes me happy too.

During my exam period, things were a little different. We had a few phone calls and played games together, which I appreciated, but I was hoping we could also meet in person occasionally. I tried arranging lunch with her, but her responses were usually “I’m busy” or “See how first.”

I understand that people have different ways of showing love, and I don’t expect her to express affection exactly the same way I do.

However, I’ve been feeling emotionally disconnected because we rarely spend time alone together. I love her, and I want us to build a healthy relationship while still maintaining our individual friendships and personal lives.

Since this is our first relationship for both of us, we’re still learning how to communicate our needs and expectations.

I’m looking for advice on how to approach this conversation differently.

For those who have experienced different expectations around quality time in a relationship, what communication strategies helped you and your partner understand each other better?

I genuinely want to work through this together rather than let these feelings build into resentment.

Thank you for reading!