Advice on 4 Month Old Routine - Sleep Training? Too Soon?

FTM with a 4-month-old, and I think we’re in the sleep regression. For the past few weeks, he’s consistently woken throughout the night after an initial 5-hour stretch.

**Daytime sleep:** He’s awake for 2.5 hours before bedtime. Total daytime sleep is capped at 4.5 hours, and I aim for at least 3 hours of naps. We don’t have set wake windows because contact, stroller, and car seat naps are much longer than crib naps ( crib naps usually 45 minutes max).

**Bedtime routine:** Tummy time, book, bath, lotion/massage, feed, swaddle, gentle rocking, then into the crib drowsy but awake. We pat him until he dozes off. His room is dark with white noise, and he sleeps arms-out in a Halo swaddle.

**The pacifier struggle:** Around 1 a.m., we enter “pacifier hell,” replacing it every 1–2 hours for the rest of the night. It’s hard to tell whether he’s hungry or wants his pacifier, so we typically feed him around 3 a.m. We’ve always followed TCB’s SITBACK method.

Our ped has OK’d potential night weaning, but I’m hesitant. He doesn’t seem ready to consistently take more than 5 oz per feed, and dropping \~4 oz overnight feels risky for weight gain. We don’t mind the night feed and believe he still needs it.

**Our current approach:** We’re trying gentle pacifier weaning over two weeks. He can fall asleep without it during contact and stroller naps and the initial bedtime, but struggles with pacifier-free sleep after \~5 hours.

At night, if he’s crying intensely, we start with SITBACK. The pacifier is by far the most effective soothing tool, so I let him suck while applying firm torso pressure and shushing, then gently remove it when he’s nearly asleep. This has taken up to 1.5 hours nightly. We tried cold turkey for one night, but the crying exceeded an hour.

When he wakes again an hour later, we feed him. For the rest of the night, we repeat the gentle weaning approach without additional feeds.

**I’m looking for some hope and advice in my sleep-deprived state!** Are we on the right track? I know we’re playing the long game, but he has a strong pacifier sleep association. Our goal is to gradually replace it with patting, then eventually reduce the patting too.

If he could put it in himself we have no issues with him keeping it. But at 4 months, those motor skills seem a long way off?

I am not interested in CIO at this age.