Any fellow cancer survivors here trying to stay the sober path?

I’m newer to this community and have been lurking for a while. Quitting drinking has been on my mind for a while. I have tried to convince myself I don’t have a problem…”it’s just a few drinks”, “at least I don’t drink a whole bottle”, “it’s not EVERY day” (spoiler alert: it’s easily 6/7 days a week). I’m not able to have just one drink. It always turns into multiple. I’m tired of making excuses…”it’s been a long day”, “my kids are wild, mommy needs a drink”. I’m not a mean drunk, but I’m tired of waking up with headaches, feeling bloated, unable to lose weight, sleeping like shit, thinking about what or when I’m going to drink next.

Worst of all, I am a breast cancer survivor. I went through all the treatments (during the pandemic no less), double mastectomy, reconstruction, chemo, radiation, ovary/hormone suppression. I KNOW how bad drinking is for you and even more so for someone with estrogen fed cancer. It fills me with incredible guilt. I’m filled with anxiety over reoccurrence and yet I participate in one of the most significant reoccurrence causing factors…alcohol. And yet it’s taken this long for me to finally decide to stop.

But I’m ready. I’m currently 5 days sober. The longest I’ve gone in 2 years. I’m ready to take care of the body and life I worked so hard to keep going through cancer treatment. My family deserves it. I deserve it.