Just putting it out there, don’t need to reply. Thanks for listening.

I was a functioning alcoholic. Never took a sick day, had a good job etc so one of those “I don’t have a problem” people. Then I met my husband. I didn’t quit drinking it just went from something I did everyday to I could have a glass of wine with dinner and not think about having more, I could go days without and I didn’t need or want to drink, it just wasn’t a part of my life anymore. I drank to escape my situation, I was no longer in that place, I was the happiest I’d ever been so I was me again. I moved 4 hours across country leaving my friends and family behind (I don’t drive so seems further than it is) and it was all totally worth it. My husband is the best person I’ve ever known, I’ve been proposed to before but never said yes, no one was the one until this one. Then 3 months ago my husband died. I’m totally lost and I’m drinking too much again, and I have no idea how to fix this. The only thing I want is my husband back. I know the drinking isn’t helping but it’s the only time I feel even slightly normal. Sorry internet strangers, I know there’s nothing you can do, I’m just so lonely and lost and needed to get this off my chest.