Feeling strange now, after the best year

It’s the eve of my one year sober anniversary. I’m feeling elated, out of sorts, jumbled thoughts, scattered emotions. My dragon taunts me: “have a drink, you deserve it!” But I know his wily ways, I’ve studied his flight plans. I smile my response: “no, dragon, iwndwyt.”

A year ago tonight I was packing for rehab, terrified of detoxing, and rejecting even the idea of sobriety (a curse!) And, of course, I was wildly, gin-soakingly drunk. Gotta go out with a bang, right?

Skip ahead through a tentative year of no drinking, fearful baby steps, fleeing from or facing challenges, important losings, and unexpected findings.

I’m now teary remembering so much love, family, friends, fellow rehabbers, and this astonishing collection of internet strangers. File that under “unexpected find”. Ya, this group is a treasure. All your questions, answers, advice, recommendations, triumphs, failures, rebounds, optimism, and unwavering support make a difference. And so relatable, you’ve had me laughing, crying, thinking, and lurking back for more. Thank you for your stories, your compassion, and your kindness.

It is, um, actually really cool to be at this place. I wasn’t expecting the rush. So, lots of us say that it gets better. One year in, fwiw, this is true. And it’s also work, sometimes difficult or boring, and rewarding, and rebellious! Just wandering the path, even the rocky bits, is part of getting better, too!