So yeah I just fell in the beer hole

I had 227 days... now I have 3.

I am not a regular alcoholic, whatever that is, but in those 227 days I had perhaps 7-8 drinks. I can drink one or two drinks without a problem.

But last Saturday I just chose to go into my old haunt, and then all the fun things were there amd we had a fantastic fun night.

Bu i haven't left my bed since sunday. I feel disgusted, angry and I feel nothing.

I really just want a fucking year without this shit. I had 227 days without being drunk and self-sabotaging. Now I have effing 3.

Just irritated with my self. And sad. And depressed.

I know spring triggers my bipolar mania amd that I shouldn't have a drink a day, when it.feels awesome. That's too dangerous

Just disappointed with my self. Just had to tell somebody.