As I approach 8 years free of alcohol…

I don’t know where to begin, but I know that this community has been a huge benefit in helping to keep me on the straight and narrow.

I don’t really struggle with the urge to drink anymore, but that feeling of uncertainty, fear, anger, and everything in between is something I’m still quite familiar with.

I have found that there is no one specific way to stop drinking. Whether AA, smart recovery, therapy, fitness, meditation, Cali sober, or some combination of them all, these are simply tools that we have in our tool kit. And we chose which ones we keep sharp and utilize.

No one’s journey is identical, but damn there are always similarities. That’s why I feel like I can relate to anyone’s struggle, no matter how different we may be, because there’s always these little jewels of knowledge or life experience that allow me to have a better perspective of my own story.

It is truly a fine line we try to walk by being both empathetic to others who suffer, as well as compassionate to ourselves. In fact, often times I feel like I treat myself significantly more harsh than I would someone who is in a similar struggle. Perhaps I’m not alone in that respect. It’s not uncommon to say we are our own worst critic.

I say all that to say, 8 years later and I am so fucking thankful for giving up the booze. I just reached a point in my life where I knew that my behavior and approach to life would never allow me to enjoy so many of the things people take for granted; family, friends, partners. I felt like life was passing me by, and so at 34 I decided that I had to take my life back. I knew then that if I didn’t, I’d never come close to achieving so many of the things I had hoped for in my youth.

Over these last 8 years, being able to focus on my mental and physical health allowed me to put in the work to repair myself. From there, I was able to reinvigorate my career, and build back my relationships, both personal and professional.

By that point I had been sober 4 years, and I felt confident enough that I had changed who I was at my core, now able to share my life with someone and hopefully build a family. In the next 4 years that’s exactly what happened. I met my wife at 38, married at 40, bought a house and had my first child at 41. My daughter’s grandparents play an active role in her life. My friendships are better in my 40s than in my 30s and I know I’d have none of it if I hadn’t given up alcohol.

Please keep in mind, life is definitely still stressful as hell, the challenges never go away, they just morph into new obstacles and types of stressors. But it’s how we cope with those stressors that makes all the difference in how we can emerge from a crucible.

My point is, as long as you are breathing, it is never too soon or too late to make seismic changes in your life that can drastically alter your trajectory. I knew where my life was heading if I kept doing the same shit (and I did for a while), but I’m just so thankful I could eventually see the forrest through the trees. It was by no means easy, but holy shit, it was worth it.

And I’m never going back. Much love to all who are struggling.