No more Thanksgivings tarnished by Blackout Wednesdays.

Tomorrow morning is Thanksgiving, and I can't help but reflect upon how different I'm doing things this year. Last year, I took "Blackout Wednesday" a little too seriously and blacked out. It was classic; I ended up in a bar with all of my old high school classmates, acted buddy-buddy with people I didn't even like, sobbing, falling face down on a picnic table, ended up going home with my ex of 2 years, and waking up in his bed in sheer disgust. Not to mention, my phone had died, none of my family knew where I was, if I was okay, or if I'd even be coming home. I was so hungover that I was dissociating and still felt drunk, of course, I kept drinking. And I don't remember anything about last Thanksgiving besides THAT.

This year, I had a classy dinner with close friends after work, went home to clean up and watch a Christmas movie with family, eat some chocolate, cozy up in a sweater. I'm waking up in my own bed with no one next to me (which is a great thing lol), going to the gym with my sister, and spending the day with people that I love. And I will REMEMBER IT.

I'm incredibly thankful. In the past this would have sounded completely boring. But it's my ideal holiday now and I am so thankful for peace.

The magic of the holidays was never measured by how obliterated I could possibly get... that only got in the way of the experience.

If anyone is struggling this holiday season, I love you and I believe in you, this is possible for you. There was a time I felt that way too.