My lows feel much worse after 6 months of sobriety

It’s been about 6 months since I stopped drinking. But lately, every other week, my mood turns extremely bad, to the point where I would rather not even live anymore. And I’m not sure if it’s a cry for help. I feel like I just want attention or pity. For someone to tell me: 'Oh, you poor boy, life sucks and it’s not fair you have to deal with that.' And the more I think about it and try to understand why things are the way they are, the worse my mood gets and the more I hate myself for being the way I am. I have absolutely no idea how to change that. I have a very poor opinion of myself to begin with, and it only gets worse each time I feel this way.

I just prepared myself some food, but I’m not even hungry. I started writing this post several times already and always deleted it before actually posting it. I don’t even know what I want to accomplish with this. I guess some support or sympathy? Someone telling me things can or will get better, even though I don’t believe it myself? No idea.