First Time Truly "Out" and Not Drinking

I recently stopped drinking because I realized how bad it is for my body and for my mind.

I pretty much drank socially a few times a month but got into a bad habit for about three weeks and after making myself sick, I realized I wasn't truly socially drinking. Ever. Even when I thought it was purely social, it never was.

Anyway, I went out with some friends last night and I thought it'd be pretty simple/easy to not drink.

Not drinking was a little trickier than I thought it would be. I still had a blast for sure and it was fun for the first couple of hours. But it felt sorta lonely in some ways. There was this invisible perceived barrier between me and the rest of the group. Especially when I glanced over to the bar and the four of them were lined up for shots. Even when they were getting tipsy and drunk, I still was having fun with them but it's like I'm really not on the same level as them.

I never felt pressured to drink by anyone in the group and I am very grateful for that because I feel like that's potentially just one more battle or thing stacked "against" us. But it was so much different than I expected. Sounds super cheesy but I wanted to be a *part* of something and not *apart*.

I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement and relatability.

IWNDWYT.

ETA: typo