Food for thought for the lurkers who drink with their partners

For most of my relationship, I've been a 135 pound female. My partner, a 220 pound male. We'd buy a bunch of light beers and match drink for drink on the porch while we chatted.

Most days, it was fine. But every once in a while I'd get upset about something, or emotional, or whatever. All these years I've (and we've) chalked it up to me being less emotionally intelligent or less controlled/mature than my partner.

This morning, however, I decided to ask ChatGPT to run the numbers for me. It's been a question on my mind for a while. And I was absolutely floored by the results.

At our most recent drinking episode (used to drink MUCH more frequently, but now just on occasion, and if it weren't for this occasional ritual I'd probably be fully sober) we each had seven light beers over the course of three hours.

My partner's estimated BAC was just over 0.08%.

Mine? 0.217%. NEARLY THREE TIMES HIGHER.

Now, that doesn't excuse any of the dumb, shitty stuff I've done or said while drinking. And I knew that it would hit me harder, but I assumed just a little harder. Not three times harder.

But once I saw that, something clicked. I realized that's why he always seemed so much more controlled and mature. At the end of the night, he's the equivalent of 3-beer me, and I'm the equivalent of 15-beer him.

So all these years that I thought I was a lesser or worse person than him, the fact is, I was getting shitfaced while he was getting buzzed. Again, it doesn't excuse anything I did. But it sure does put some things into context.

Why am I sharing this? Because if you're like me and think you are lesser because you drink with others who can "handle" their alcohol "better", you might not be looking at the whole picture. And no alcohol is better than any alcohol, but for me, it's much easier to not drink when I'm not consumed by feelings of shame and self-hatred. This has really opened my eyes not only to the amount I drink (when I drink) but the massive difference in experience for me vs my drinking partner.

Just another entry in the "reasons why I shouldn't drink at all" column.