shit has just hit the fan.

24F. i've had this acc for a while rn and have been in/out of the subs and rooms for years.

i relapsed a few weeks ago. i just have had dramatic events and betrayals after betrayals stacked upon one another to the point where the pain was just unbearable. i felt horrible emotionally for a month before i picked up the bottle again after a year sober. so i did try and fight it.

i was diagnosed with bipolar for the second time which i'm finally accepting. i've been on meds, have a follow up tmr, and am set up to go see a new therapist.

my friendships are falling apart for unrelated reasons and betrayals, and i work with these people so it's inescapable.

my mom is disappointed and me and people who viewed me as an inspiration are shocked to see me drinking.

i need to focus on healing but with severe depression in effect and my relationships being torn to shreds, it's hard to care about healing. the suicidal ideation has gotten better since meds.

i don't even know what to do anymore.