The pattern: my spouse's argument style is my #1 trigger to desperately crave a drink

I got through the first five or ten extended arguments that drove me to want a drink. The way this person has arguments in bad faith is absolutely intolerable.

He is not the only reason I drink, not by a long shot. But when it comes to "I absolutely cannot stand the emotions this person puts me through when we're arguing" sense of urgency-- like I cannot possibly bear one more minute of these emotions-- his style of arguing is about a hundred times more severe of a trigger than any other recurring stimulus in my life.

When I look back at my posts in this group and other reminders, it's crystal clear that he's what drives me to have a deep desperation to lessen the emotional pain.

EDIT: "cali sober" helped me calm down enough to avoid alcohol for one more day, but things are still not good.