Today would have been our Anniversary

And this song kinda sums up how I feel.

[ https://open.spotify.com/track/5VMKuBeG7FtPb6lptEM57v?si=FpSRMiLgRBKTTSoo4Px8Qg ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5VMKuBeG7FtPb6lptEM57v?si=FpSRMiLgRBKTTSoo4Px8Qg)

Not looking for advice or pity, and I’m learning to live with myself. Nor am I actually sad it’s over. It’s what they needed to be happy. And honestly? Me too. It was the right move. So I’m 100% okay with that. But it’s still sad in the moment. It’s bittersweet.

Just wanted to share. I know I coulda been a little more honest a little sooner. Maybe things woulda been different. Too late now. Hindsight is a motherfucker, but there’s a comfort in accepting reality. That call ain’t comin. IWNDWYT.

“Turns out the country

Is as empty as it seems

And I ran and ran and ran

and I’m still me”

Edit: for clarity. 7 year relationship. First anniversary without them. We split due to my drinking. I always ran away from it and it never changed. They were right.

It even ended on good terms because I made a point to help them get their new life set up at the end. Like we both knew it was for the best and those last couple weeks were the best we had had in years. We were finally kind to each other again. We kept things open cuz that last little bit was such a good reminder of how things used to be.

That was 6 months ago.

I finally know myself, and they’re free to actually live their life. The call isn’t coming. And I’m trying to be ok with not hoping for it anymore.