Back home, realized I used to drink so I would have something to look forward to.

I made it through Thanksgiving and I got 14 hours of sleep (went to bed around 8pm last night to avoid the wines and slept in till 10am or so to avoid spending breakfast with anyone).

My wife got mad, not because she wanted to spend time with me, but because she said it was rude to leave her alone with her own family. For years she has told me that her family doesn't like me and that they think I am a joke, so it was strange to think that they would give a shit whether I was in bed or not.

And now I am back home in Massachusetts. We took separate cars so she is about an hour behind me with the kids. There is nothing I want to do more right now than pour myself a drink and try to forget the past 2 days.

I won't, but drinking was something I enjoyed and for someone who suffers from anhedonia, having something to look forward to... even something destructive like that... was pretty rare.

I had some pretty good days last week, things felt like they were right. Happy even. Not sure what it was that made me feel that way, or how I can get back to that again.

I made it a month at least.