I really messed up and now I am so frustrated with myself.

I fucked up this weekend. I didn't get obliterated like I normally would have but i deff went farther than i should have and may have lost some pictures of my late dog.

I'm so fucking pissed off and frustrated with myself and I feel so much fucking shame. I know the journey isn't going to be linear and I will eventually fuck up again, but I am just so goddamned fucking pissed at myself for this weekend.

Only 2 IRL people know about my sobriety and i probably won't be telling either of them about this weekend, but the emotional pain right now really really sucks. I am trying - i swear i am trying - but this is process is so fucking difficult and distressing. I hate that I did this to myself.

So here I am starting over. Again. I don't know how to exactly accept my failures from the weekend but I also know all i can do is move forward. "You do the hokey pokey, then you turn yourself around."