Sick of being this way.

I've always been a bit stupid with drink. But after my relationship of eleven years ended last Spring I've found it harder to control. I drink most nights, every other day I'll take a night off and that following morning I feel great "why do I bother drinking"? But then that night I'll end up drinking again. And it repeats and repeats. I have horrible anxiety and health anxiety and I know alcohol is absolutely contributing. I know it's causing all the horrible stuff in my life yet I still go out and buy the shit.

I just want to stop. I'm having about 8 beers a night which is ridiculous. Cause of things I've read on here and anxiety I'm also terrified to stop in case I end up in seizures or what not. But I think I'm also using that as an excuse to not try.

I just need advice and an open ear. I want to change.