I don't know how to be okay being sober

I'm four months sober, and I hate it. I miss how good drinking made me feel. It made me confident and made my social anxiety disappear. It made everything more fun, it put me at ease. The best thing ever was going on a bender: spending two or three days drinking vodka till I passed out only to wake up and go back to drinking. I miss it so much

But I was hiding it from my wife and I got reckless with my drinking and it upset her. She finally gave me the ultimatum, alcohol or her. Since then, I've been sober and Ive been miserable every single day.

Nothing is fun anymore. Being around people while sober feels excruciating. Every minute I hate myself and I'm exhausted from trying to work on myself. I just want to turn my brain off.

I don't know how anyone stays positive through this. I know I have to work on myself to fix whatever I was using drinking for, but god damn I can't do this forever. I don't even want to go to my meeting tonight to complain about it. I just want my easy fix back