One month of not drinking, the good, the meh and the struggle.

Welp! I made it. One month without a drink. It's wild. I had this whole post written out in my head yesterday. Then today happened. So I'm again, just shouting into the void.

The GOOD - I'm down 20lbs, my bloodwork came back significantly better, I'm sleeping through the night (even if it is only for 4 hours), my routine has improved, my skin and scalp look great, I'm cooking and baking *almost* everyday and seriously the money I'm saving is ridiculous.

The MEH - I still crave alcohol. Whenever I'm watching horror movies or jamming/singing, I just think about how much I revolved these activities around being drunk and enjoying them more. I'm dealing with my depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety as best I can. I'm on a stupid long waitlist to get with a psychiatrist and a therapist. So right now, I'm just simply trying.

The STRUGGLE - I've realized I have **AWFUL** coping skills. I had a great day, super productive, taking care of my physical health, didn't hermit. Then I accidentally hit the side of my car on a pole in a parking garage and I seriously lost my shit. I was angry, mad, sad, pissed. I felt like a complete idiot. I just wanted to get a bottle and say fuck it. But, I didn't.

Today's celebration wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but I guess this is just what we call life.

Thanks to anyone who read this. IWNDWYT 🫂 💗