Day 3.

I woke up Thursday morning at 5:30 AM, in the back seat of my van covered in my own vomit and shivering so badly I could barely stand to start my car. Winter. Windows fogged and frozen.

I had performed a show the evening prior and overdid it afterwards. I blacked out, again. It's a streak in a rash of benders that are increasing in frequency and severity.

My girlfriend didn't know where I was. I didn't know how I got there.

I cannot do it any longer.

Last night was the first show I've performed sober for 5 years now. Maybe more, maybe less. I don't know. It was so surreal, time slowed and I just felt out of my body and completely without footing in reality. Head was fuzzy, fingers felt too long, but eventually I found my bearings and the instruments felt natural again.

All it took was a bit of time.

And I think that's what I need.

Day 3. Glad to have found this place.