Lessons from the Island of Drunk People
A friend texted yesterday that they were going to meat raffle if I wanted to join. For those that are not midwesterners in America, a meat raffle is usually at a bar; they sell tickets, spin a wheel, and if it lands on your number you get to pick some meats from a delicious array provided by a local butcher. The money goes to charity, the bar gets pretty packed, and I'm just now realizing that between the tickets and the drinks one could probably buy themselves some pretty nice meat instead. Anyway.
On Saturdays, meat raffle starts at noon and takes place at my favorite cash-only hole in the wall bar. It gets very busy with a mix of people, and you get another ticket with numbers on it. The server picks a ticket out of a pitcher after every meat raffle spin and if your number matches it you get a free drink. Our friend picks the tickets and usually knows our numbers. So, it works out pretty well. Noon meat raffle has devolved into midnight yelling and kitchen dancing multiple times.
I'm trying to be social, and decided that instead of chores, meat raffle sounded much more fun. I drank a coke, and won some meat (hell yeah). Then we made plans to go back to theirs and make burgers and play games. I smoked pot which was dumb and my fuzzy brain is regretting it today. What's even dumber is I really thought it through and smoked it in anticipation of having to "deal" with people that have been having cocktails since noon. I was already having a good time and regretted it almost immediately. But then I laughed my ass off at a funny movie, and ate delicious hamburgers. Two other people came over that I really only have hung out with drunk - the type of people that talk AT you but don't listen - and it quickly turned into a drink drinks and smoke pot until you can't stand up (or stop talking loudly over everyone) kind of night. I stuck to root beer. We were trying to play a dice game and everyone was so loud and irritating. Holy shit. Left about 7pm, cross stitched, munched out and went to bed around 11.
I won't drink today for sure. But I'm kind of feeling like hanging around drunk people sober for a limited time with an easy escape route might not be a bad idea once and a while. Holy fuck that was annoying. Playing a game was like herding cats, I just gave up after a while and watched everyone. My two friends that I love were bugging me. The couple that came over was really bugging me. Lots of repeated stories, dropped dice, talking that was basically yelling because they were all talking over each other. Watching a drunk and high person try to explain a game to another drunk and high person with other drunk and high people chiming in was ... well, it was really a special time.
I'm really trying not to sound sanctimonious about this. It was more like watching animals in the wild interact with each other. I don't feel superior because I've been there SO MANY TIMES. But like, now that I'm thinking about sobriety as building a life that doesn't involve drinking (as opposed to doing the same shit except sober) it really lends a different light to my experiences. Booze and pot really do just shut off your head and I actually really enjoy playing a game and chatting and listening to music ---- sober. Usually I'm right there drinking/smoking until I can't anymore and losing myself in the roar of voices and chemicals that just gets progressively louder until your brain gives out and you pass out. But sitting in the middle of the roar without it being inside of your head is a different experience. There's only so long you can put up with it and that's okay. It's tough to realize how much time I've spent just losing myself in it though. My friends live nearby and the three of us are close enough (and have similar loves of chemicals) that often we will just hang out together, get as fucked up as possible, and I will sleep on their couch. It would have been so easy to do last night. No judgement, if anything I got shit for leaving early. I wish I wouldn't have smoked pot but I'm not resetting my sober days because even though pot is an issue for me, I don't feel the need to. I feel fuzzy and unmotivated. Bleh. I won't drink today. I won't smoke pot today. I will enjoy the silence, and I will take this as a lesson.
TL:DR - Hung out with drunk people yesterday, they were super annoying. Was I that annoying while drinking? Hell yes I was, probably even more. GREAT. Lesson learned (again).