This time of year always is the hardest

Always creeping up on the holidays is when the stress gets more intense. Financially it takes a toll on my family and always causes us to bicker and just be stressed to the max. The past couple years November or around is when I'd relapse or begin a binge that would last for months. It would always be me sneaking to my room on Thanksgiving to drink shooters I had hidden. Last Christmas eve I left a family gatherinrg early cause I was starting to not feel good cause lack of alcohol.

Tomorrow I will be 10 months sober but can feel the stress coming already. Last January I ended up in the er for medical detox with an insane heart rate. I was hallucinating and had insane anxiety. It scared me enough to always be on my mind when any type of though about drinking came on.

Even with the increased stress and anxiousness this time of year for me, I am gonna be attending more aa meetings and try to keep myself busy. Keeping myself busy has always been my key to staying sober. The holidays is when my family gets together has drinks and dinner and enjoy each others company. Usually this is a trigger for me but with the help of this subreddit, aa, I will reach my year in January and continue to stay sober!

I just kinda needed to rant. If anyone else needs to talk who is also feeling the stress of the holidays already my dms are open! (8 hours for 10 months sober!)

IWNDWYT!