If I Enjoyed My Drinking I Couldn’t Control It. If I Controlled My Drinking I Couldn’t Enjoy It.

After many failed attempts at moderation and sobriety, I heard this the other day and it rang so true. When I was drinking without thought of controlling my consumption I almost always ended up insanely drunk, and did or said something I would regret the next morning. When I was able to control my drinking and moderate, it was extremely hard and I would never enjoy myself. So either I’m drinking to get obliterated, or I’m miserable and obsessing over how not to take it too far. Either way, it was never normal, social drinking for me. It is a constant obsession, and I know I will never drink like a normal person. Nothing but sobriety has ever worked for me in my entire adult life. I will not drink today, because my life is so much richer without alcohol. I thank everyone in this group for the support and guidance. It means the world to me, and even though my family may not see it, it means the world to them too. ❤️