Small but huge victories

I can't believe it. Day 7 is in the bag and on to day 8. Turned 43 this year and have been drinking my entire adult life. Of course it progressed until the point that I'd wake up at 8 am and start drinking only to be passed out by the afternoon. Hell, if my eyes were open it was time to drink.

Just like everyone else on this sub I knew I had a problem and needed to stop. I've tried so many times but couldn't put together anything but a couple of days. Then I'd start to feel better and drink again. A few months back I managed to put together 3 weeks, but fell back into the trap.

Here I am again with 7 days and feeling great. Surprisingly it hasn't been all that hard except for a couple pretty tough challenges. This past Friday my wife decided to go hang out with her sister. This is a major trigger for me. I've always used that as some "free time" to drink away the night. Even though our son was with me the thoughts started racing through my head. This was also the eve of our 11 year anniversary. Took my son to the grocery store for some anniversary dinner items and flowers and there it was. The liquor store in the same plaza. Typically during checkout I would get some cash back and head into the liquor store to grab a couple half pints. This time I started playing the tape through.

I thought about what it would be like on our anniversary. Another day of disappointment and heartache. Hungover, feeling like absolute shit, shaking, sweating, nauseous, and guilty. I didn't get cash back and on the way out of the store and I didn't even glance at the liquor store. Took my groceries and my son to the car, got in, and drove away. FUCK YOU ALCOHOL.

The weekend was fantastic. I was able to make a delicious porterhouse steak on the grill and enjoy the weekend with my wife and son. We rode bikes, completed chores, walked the dog, watched football, and just enjoyed being around each other.

Monday (yesterday) comes around and I'm still feeling great. Even better actually. I take my lunch every day so I don't leave work and get some vodka during lunch, but my wife sends me a text telling me I forgot my damn food. Triggered, but not defeated, I order a sub online. Go out to pick up the sub from the store in a plaza with another liquor store. Usually I would park near the liquor store since I would again get cash back and grab a couple half pints. This time I started to play the tape through. On my way to get lunch I thought about how I'd feel in a couple hours. The foggy brain, sweats, bloated stomach. I thought about how I'd feel in the morning. I thought about how far I've come. I parked far away from the liquor store, ran in to grab my sub, and got the fuck out. Again, FUCK YOU ALCOHOL!

So here I am on day 8 with a couple small, but huge victories behind me. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. FUCK YOU ALCOHOL.

IWNDWYT!!!!