So tired of doing this

Here is my pity post. I just requested a badge reset and realized the last time I asked for a reset was a YEAR ago. Where did the time go? I have been losing my moderation battle (again) for an entire year. Once again it ended in a tearful night where I along with those who love me are angry and disappointed in myself. I didn’t even do anything crazy, it was just one more damn night of too much. It all seems fun until it isn’t. Now comes the hard part. Dealing with the guilt, the shame and Starting over, again.