6 years.

6 years ago, I awoke in an ER room, recovering from a failed suicide attempt. My drinking had taken me, the day before, to a place of incomprehensible demoralization, where I left the scene of a fatal pedestrian accident on a freeway in a blackout.

I thought the only solution for me, when I awoke and realized what had happened, was to take my own life. For years and years I had denied I had a problem with alcohol and rationalized it was something I could control, that I couldn't be an alcoholic because I had the career, the cars, the house, etc.

I survived, barely. And in that ER bed, I prayed to whatever universal spirit or deity that existed for the first time in my adulthood to help me. I could no longer live with or without alcohol.

That was January 23, 2015. The last 6 years of my life sober have been amazing, difficult, beautiful, precious, and tough all at the same time. And I wouldn't trade them for anything.

For anyone who is struggling, who is resetting their badge yet again, or doesn't think they can live life without alcohol, you can do it. IWNDWYT!

Edit: Not one day goes by that I don't think about the man in the accident. He was also one of us, intoxicated at a nearly lethal level when he stepped in front ot my car. I could have stopped and called for help and I will carry that with me for the rest of my life. But my living amends to him is to help others find sobriety so they don't meet the same fate as me or him.

Second edit: I didn't include this in the original post, but 6 years ago today, I asked the nurses in the ER to contact the police so I could turn myself in. I was charged and after months in court, I received my sentence and completed it 2 years ago.