My time has come.

I've been lurking on this sub for a while and want to make a change in my life. Sometime around year 1.75 of the pandemic, I felt a shift in how I experienced drinking. I feel more than "hangover sick" after I drink because I drink too much. Most people don't understand that when they are 3 beers deep, I am 7. I have been drinking alone and things have started to catch up with me.

My partner is super supportive and her dad was an alcoholic. This week, we buried me grandma and I got too drunk and left her to check into the hotel by herself while I slept it off at the house. She is amazing and I am fucking it all up. I make good decisions in every other area of my life but my relationship with alcohol has soured. I don't have a family that I don't feel good about getting support from with this (I am the youngest and they can be condescending. plus half of them have alcoholism in their life). But on the drive back home my partner told me that it is time for me to sort it out because it is affecting her. It's the first time in my life that my problems have really become someone else's and I love her beyond anything else.

I am scared that I am going to lose her if I don't turn a corner. I quit cigarettes and weed 4 months ago but this feels so much harder. It also feels like I drink more the closer I come to committing to stopping. I feel pretty hopeless but also really motivated.

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I am hoping people will post some advice on all the things that helped them get to this point in their journey. I drank today, but I want to join you all in not drinking tomorrow. Calling out for some help and advice from all of you wonderful souls.

Thanks for reading,

blzrlzr