When does it stop hurting so much?

I found out less than a month ago. I feel like ever since then, I've had to keep focused and in-control. I know I have support around me but I just don't feel like I can let that act down.

It's starting to feel like I'm rotting from the inside out. I already struggled with extreme depression before all of this. Even though I've managed to stay strong and have some good days, every night I lay in bed hoping to fall asleep before my stomach pains get too bad from the stress. I have nightmares. Then I wake up in pain from shaking or thrashing in bed during the night.

When does this deep, visceral pain stop? I know I'm in for a very long process, but it's just so immense I feel like it's never going to end. Does there come a point of calm and resolution? I have moments of clarity, but something always drags me right back down into that pain. I use my coping skills to claw out, but I feel perpetually stuck in this pit.

I am still going to weekly personal therapy, taking my medications as directed, and keeping up on journaling, but it just feels exhausting to do absolutely anything else. Any advice would help me, or even just supportive words that I can keep with me as I keep living with this. Thank you to anyone in advance ❤️