Suggestions for dealing with the people side of things, esp. management relations
I don't normally dispense life advice unsolicited, but one of the things I've seen lately is a flood of new people coming into this sub who are totally stumped about the people side of the equation. We're talking, "Help, I can solve any computer problem but have zero clue how to handle this human problem." I've also seen a lot of advice dispensed along the lines of, "You're smart tech people, indispensable, unfire-able, you're immune to corporate politics and everything's a meritocratic utopia where the best ideas win." Having done this for 25 years, I'd like to offer the advice that this is totally false in all but the FAANGiest, richest, money-printingest companies, and that it's really not hard to at least stay afloat in the political waters. I've managed to survive and do OK simply by making an effort on the people skills side of the house. We suck at mentoring as a group, and I wish someone had told me this stuff when I was younger so I didn't have to stumble on it.
Believe me, I'd much rather work with machines than people and I will be the first to admit that I got into this job so I wouldn't have to play management politics and the climb-the-ladder game. For the most part you don't, but you DO have to follow a few rules/norms such as these or you'll end up getting managed out.
- **Keep your boss out of trouble.** I've been on the people management side of things and have (wisely IMO) said "Nope, not for me." Managers are in a tough spot; they're responsible for their team's performance but they can't control the team members unless they micromanage, which everyone hates. If you're not doing things to actively make more work for your manager, and doing a decent job at your job, that's a huge win and you'll likely be valued more than the brilliant but toxic 10x rockstar ninja that everyone complains to the boss about.
- **Be likeable and easy to get along with, even if it's not in your comfort zone.** This gets a lot of pushback, because techies like myself assume that you have to be a douchey salesbro to pull this off. It's really not that bad. We're in a customer service business whether we're level one support people or chief architects. It's not enough to be the smartest person in the room anymore. Even if it's tough, showing an interest in others really does get them to think of you as something other than a replaceable large salary number on a spreadsheet. Think "_How to Win Friends and Influence People_" without the creepy life insurance salesperson vibe...just basic stuff like listening to people and taking an interest in stuff they like to talk about.
- **Insisting you're right (even when you are) isn't a winning strategy.** This is a big one the even trips me up sometimes. We're used to one-and-zero logic, clear-cut answers, right and wrong. Sometimes it's not obvious that the "wrong" answer in our minds is actually the right one for that situation. I see this stump a lot of people, especially when the reason is a little gray-area (as is the case in a lot of company politics situations.)
- **To understand your boss, research how they view the world.** One of the podcasts I listen to is [Manager Tools](https://manager-tools.com) - not because I'm looking for the latest tips on how to manage my team, but because I want to see how the other side views us. [The latest podcast](https://www.manager-tools.com/2021/10/back-office) is a real eye-opener on how managers see WFH. (tl;dr: most of them think we're lazy and unproductive, and the only way we can possibly get back to normal life is drag everyone back. This and maybe management consultants' warnings explains in a nutshell why so many places are insisting people come back.) It's kind of like "know your enemy" when they're not _really_ the enemy. Knowing what you know, and what points are negotiable, you can intelligently play the game to your favor. ICs and managers/executives have completely different views of the world, no matter how much of a team sport work is supposed to be now.
- **Don't end up on your own.** Recently in my state (New York,) the governor resigned over some pretty serious allegations of harassment and running a toxic work environment that allowed/tolerated it. Forget about the politics and how bad/creepy that is for a second and just remember this...in the end, **_no one_** came forward and defended him, not even his own political party. Even with an overall positive track record, governing this state is extremely tough and he admitted that he really had to break some eggs to get his way over the years and made lots of enemies. That meant he kind of ended up isolated and couldn't rely on anyone after upsetting them. Even his closest advisors were saying stuff similar to, "Yep, he got the job done but working for him sucked, his office was a non-stop belittling screamfest, he sought revenge on people who crossed him, I could totally see that happening..." I kind of took that to heart even as an individual contributor. If you're brilliant, solve everything 100% perfectly, but are a complete jerk to everyone, how willing are people going to be to come to your aid when you're stuck? Even the top executive of a big state with a big government isn't immune to losing all his allies apparently so I'm not either.
- **If you don't know something, ask before assuming and communicate.** Managers are not mind-readers and are too busy most of the time to even know what their direct reports are up to at any given time. I'm guilty of this one early in my career, having made a job decision based solely on what I assumed was going to happen without getting a satisfactory read on what was actually afoot. Communicate issues you have as openly as is appropriate and you'll be surprised that you might even get a sorta-human response back.
Of course, just like the meritocratic utopia not really existing, neither does a perfect workplace or manager. But having seen a lot of very smart people end up fired because they just couldn't work as a group or said something completely inappropriate, developing the people skills to at least an acceptable level will put you in a good position to succeed. Remember that companies are cloudifying and SaaSifying everything and one of the huge selling points is reduced staffing levels. Companies are likely to keep the team players before they keep the moody geniuses who dig their heels in and won't fit in at all.
That's it, downvote away, I've got good karma. :-)