Ran into a bungled manhunt on the way to work one day

I'm heading down the highway on my way in the same way I always do, head to "exit 5", go there, watch for idiots here, avoid the suicidal deer, etc. But this day, something is bugging me. Don't know, could have been the giant annoying mosquito of the Bell Long Ranger variety that started flying really low over head and following me, blatting its way down the road above me. Could have been the knot of festive blue and red blinking lights down the cross street to my left as I crossed to my destination road. But *something* told me that day was going to *suck*.

The state police helicopter follows me to the Hamster Cage guardshack, only the best cedar shavings, wheel, and water dribbler in here folks! He circles overhead watching me but I have no idea what is up, I'm in uniform and obviously *uninjured* (important in a bit), I wave and head inside. Three troopers come tearing up to the driveway and glare at me for five minutes before deciding to slowly drive off. Periodically throughout the shift I see them driving by. I turn on the bearcat scanner we had and get a rundown on the festivities I missed.

Apparently a tall skinny white guy in cutoff shorts, dirty white tee-shirt, and big puffy hairdo was walking down the cross street, weeping, bleeding, and cutting himself. Local cop arrives and gets the knife away, dude is now weeping and bleeding. Ambulance is called and is three minutes away when weepy bleedy screams "I just want to tell her goodbye" and bolts off into the woods. Fifteen minutes later, big old manhunt is on and that's when I'm driving off the exit. Deputy Dawg in the helicopter somehow figures that "this vehicle knows something" and decides to follow me. Around 2000 hrs the local cops find the guy, still weeping and bleeding as he sits huddled in a knot of poison ivy. Everything is good, right?

As I get off duty five hours or so later, a state trooper follows me before pulling me over by my onramp to the highway. He screams for me to show him my arms as weepy bleedy was cutting his arms. "We're making sure you don't have anyone hiding in your vehicle." (By having me show him my arms?) Gotta love their brilliant powers of deduction. Eventually he got bored with looking me and my car over and let me go. You'd think that they'd have known that the dude was found already.