Aerial ballet done by idiots

Over the years that my site has existed tucked between two different airports, we have seen manifested many splendored evidences of intelligent life behaving flawlessly brilliantly on this planet. Who am I kidding, we've seen proof of the Theory of Devolution and that Entropy is inescapable. Some highlights (lowlights): A skydiving school is "around the corner" from us at the one airport. Was only an issue when a chucklehead thought he'd (step one) parachute onto our roof, (step two) "?" and (step three) profit. Well... he missed our roof, misjudged the breezes behind the building inside the truckyard, spun in and pinballed between two trailers. His dream of profit and fame ruined by blunt force trauma to the face and a concussion.

But wait, there's more. Hot air balloon rides! Genius running the burner brought it down **hard** in the truck entrance. Hard enough to cause injury to the occupants of the basket. What to do, what to do? I know, *sue the site you crashed into through your own negligence*! (Got tossed, but the judge actually considered "the merits" of the "complaint".) Same hot air balloon company crashed it into the hill next door and dumped an occupant out of the basket before hitting the burner hard and floating away and stranding their castaway.

*Highway or Flyway?* Had a heavy fog one night with low hanging clouds. The other airport sits east of us and we are in line with their east west runway. Which makes no sense with the next one. I hear this god awful rumble to the north and step out of the guard booth in time to watch a jumbo drop out of the cloud deck and line up to land. On me. Pilot noted at some point that these were *lightpoles and trees* less than twenty feet from his wings and there was no *north south runway* here. I surmise that because the nose of the aircraft lurched upward and the engines throttled up. Gave the visual appearance of frantic panic. As he rumbled over my head about 75 feet and barely hanging on, I stood there wondering "how the hell would I write **this** report up?"

*Airwolf you are not* A bit later on I'm in the guardbooth on a Saturday listening to the stereo and contemplating recreational alcohol poisoning for fun and profit when I hear a helicopter very close by. Like directly on top of me nearby. We have the Air National Guard nearby and Army National Guard, both have helicopters occasionally flying nape of the earth pass through. If only that was the case this time. No, I step out of the booth to find a Red Bell 222 hovering over my south parkinglot and looking very puzzled. It's obviously not a heliport, that's about three miles east at the big airport or two miles northwest at the skydiving school airport. Pilot starts gesturing wildly, I point in the direction of the big airport. He lifts up and takes off, almost clipping my lightpoles as I again wonder how I'd write this crap up. "If I did, who'd believe it?" Haven't had an aerial incident in awhile. Waiting for the shoe to drop.