You really shouldn't microwave that.

I know I've griped about my former coworker the Humanoid Fartcloud before and her *unique* behaviors that our office apparently found endearing. Like her enthusiastic glowing discussions on spooning mayonnaise out of her various orifices, or her theft and sale of personal items left behind at end of shift, theft and sale of site equipment, inappropriate relationships, sexual harassment of coworkers and site employees, her no call no show pattern, her inability to be on time ever. And our office telling us we were all the problem, not her. The joys of an economically depressed area, leaving this job wasn't feasible at that time. Well.. The following happened here at my site back in 2008 right before the aforementioned meeting. I'll let you judge whether we were being "too mean".

It was a typical end of my shift, shift "ended" at 0700, it was 0715, my relief was sitting in the front computer room on yahoo messenger, and I wasn't going to see her for another thirty minutes. 0745 rolls around and she finally makes her way into the guard booth. "I'm late because I have my peeeeeeeriod." she says. I admit to being sceptical, her prior behavior with being "sick" and not coming into work but then having a miraculous healing to be well enough to go on a date instead made it rather suspect. I gave the pass along info and made my way home.

Second shift guard has the flu, we have to split their shift so I'm the sadsack relieving fartcloud for the foreseeable near term future.

I come in, she's giddy and giggling as she runs out to her car and tears out. I start my shift and wave off her strange sudden giddiness. Partway through the extended shift I wander into the restroom in the booth. The heat is on and a strange funk odor is permeating the room. There is a used tampon marinating on the heater fins. Okay, maybe she missed the trash..... Next up she left one on the toilet tank, then between the toilet tank and the seat, then the countertop, then they started getting stashed everywhere like cursed easter eggs. You never knew where the hell you'd find one. I swapped out a shift with someone and they reported this to the office, office had previously blown me off by telling me I was being "petty" or was "making it up". Finally, I come in and relieve her. She runs off into the night laughing like she's stoned and I just don't care. I check the chair for surprises before sitting down, dealing with a lunatic for a week had me not trusting any item or surface in GuardshackLandia. I drop into the seat and look around wondering where she'd left her gross party favor this time. The microwave has time left on the timer. **No. Just fucking no.** Yup. I open it up and find the jackpot prize: ...she had left a mound of used tampons inside the microwave *and microwaved the shit out of them*. This after her having microwaved a fish stick until it was blackened, the stink of that never left that unit until it fried itself in shame and regret. I went to the onsite security office, retrieved the camera, and the office was sent a picture of the microwaved tampons.

A week later, we're in a group meeting being told we have to be nicer to her and we're the problem instead.

Fifteen other guards talking about the above behavior of Fartcloud, and we're the problem instead.