Something I should do and something I shouldn’t do
Hi yall! I did a “reconciliation” spread for my mom and me. I’ve been ignoring her calls for over a month now and feel a bit guilty, although I feel like if I talk to her again she’ll just keep behaving the way she does. I’ve explained my issue and she refuses to apologize, saying I should instead. Anyway, I’m just not fully sure how to interpret the “something I should do” and “something I shouldn’t do” cards. I’ve detailed the whole spread and my thoughts:
Our relationship in the past: Hermit Reversed-isolation, loneliness, anxiety-she kept me isolated af and gave me very bad anxiety whenever I’d go anywhere. She would scream at me if I wanted to hang out with friends. I was a very lonely teenager.
Our relationship in the present- 5 of Pentacles - rock bottom, isolation, insecurity, worry - our relationship is terrible rn, on very rocky ground. I’m not talking to her almost at all.
**Something I should do - Page of Cups** - express my feelings, open myself up to emotions, surround myself with love, curiosity, reconciliation and joy - I’m not entirely sure. This could mean being open to reconciliation with my mom (without her apology I guess?). Talking to her again and just accepting where things go. It could also maybe mean keep loving, joyful, people around me, people like the page of cups.
**Something I shouldn’t do - 3 of Swords** - i could take this as don’t keep hurting my mom’s feelings by ignoring her or telling her this is her fault? Or don’t let myself be hurt and stressed by her behavior and her words. I do get anxious whenever she calls, i usually don’t stop worrying about it until the next day.
The future of our relationship - The Devil Reversed - Moving on, letting go of unhealthy attachments that may be holding me back - this could either mean let go of any possibility of a good relationship with my mom, let go of the guilt of hurting her feelings when she never cared about mine. OR letting go of the grudge and anxiety and just keep talking to her.
I feel like this is unclear, and it really could go either way as to whether I should talk to her again or not 😭I appreciate any insight!!