Google Drive for Desktop - Blank Login, 100% CPU

We're trying to get Google Drive to work on a few systems in our company, (we're paid Google customers), and we're experiencing an issue where after installing Google Drive for Desktop, it appears to pop up a login box, but it ends up completely blank, and the CPU goes to 100% and just pegs the system indefinitely.

We've tried this on Desktop systems (Win10) and Server systems (2016/2019). Same activity on all of them. We've eliminated AV as a cause, and can reproduce it on even clean-built Win10 systems in our org. My gut is that firewall somewhere is blocking some communication out to Google, but we can reach the Google Drive website from these systems just fine.

Researching this on Google yields no helpful results. Any ideas?

Edit: Figured it out, see comments.