Tomorrow I see the specialist

My baby has anencephaly. I see the specialist tomorrow for another anatomy scan and she will tell us what our options are. I know the decision that my husband and I will make. Looking back at my 10 week scan, you can definitely see the anencephaly. I wish I had known then. I feel horrible but I just want to get this over with. I love her and she's very wanted. I just feel like now that I know I won't be bringing her home no matter what decision I make I need to get this over with and start fresh.